Thursday, February 20, 2020

Connor 9: Finaly time to Relax



I am a living contradiction. All I want is to get exactly what I want no matter what and to lay down and not move for 70 hours. (Coincidentally, those are textbook Taurus traits.) I really don’t have a solid middle ground anymore. I was an extremely mellow person for a while, but in the past few years, I have become increasingly intense. Black and white have been the only two colors I’ve seen things in. Recently, I’ve taken time to step back and re-ground myself. I did one final drastic life re-write with a newly rearranged room, new hobbies, new habits, so hopefully, it is time to sit back and relax. 
The new room design has been going well. I absolutely hate change with a burning passion. (Another textbook Taurus trait?) Everything should be my way and remain like that forever. Despite this, I’ve been handling these changes well. Look at me, maturing or whatever. Gross. I now have a TV across from my bed, and my guinea pig at the foot of it. I can basically sit in the corner and see everything in my room. I now have more floor space to walk around and I can actually open my door all the way. The last thing is to just add more artwork to the walls.  Besides that and minor touch-ups, I think I’m done with my room forever. 
I’ve also started working on some better habits. I’m cutting down my usage of  “I hate people,” to only 10 times a day, I’ve been making fruit smoothies so I actually have some substance in the morning, I’ve been sinking into more 3D art-making, and with every other day physical fitness class and the free weights I have in my room I’ve started working out.  I feel like they are helping me restore my mellowness. 
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A few weeks ago I would either sit in the dark in silence or make up busy work to keep myself distracted. Now, I am sitting in cool blue lighting watching my favorite show and relaxing. I’m finally understanding that it is important to work as hard as you relax. Life is literally not that big a deal, so take some time to relax and indulge.  

3 comments:

  1. That's good that you figured out ways to relax and be at more peace with yourself. I'm going to take some notes because I wrote about the complete opposite. Life really isn't that big of a deal, I agree that relaxing is essential.

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  2. That's nice that you found methods to relax and keep yourself at bay. I find it necessary to keep a healthy balance between working and relaxing. It's hard to keep working constantly, especially when you just feel burnt out. Sometimes you just need to take a break.

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  3. I think it's so important to take time to figure yourself out, try to improve your quality of life, and overall just relax more. I can clearly divide my life into before and after I became more self aware. Recently I have been really interested in Stoicism, which simplified is the "art of not caring." I think everybody at some point in their lives should realize that being so rigid and uptight with their lives and worrying too much about little things is pointless.

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