Owen 8: My issue with health and sports performance

I briefly touched base with my situation about a week ago in our smiles and frowns but I'm going to elaborate on it more now. After being involved in baseball lifting, practices, and recovery sessions for 3 months now it has taken a toll on my body. However, the issue I'm dealing with actually stems back way before junior baseball season. This goes all the way back to my little league days and summer travel baseball. All the way back to how I was taught to play baseball and eventually the way I taught my body TO DO baseball.

So yes... my issue right now is that I'm dealing with elbow damage in my right arm and I only have one person to blame and it is myself (plus maybe some coaches but we will exclude that part ;) If you don't already know I am a pitcher, which means I do a lot more throwing then batting or fielding during a game. This puts stress on your arm but usually is tamable and only needs to be iced after a game.  However, the way that I pitch relies mainly on my mechanics and what I have been used to for so long. Since I was young, I always liked to throw hard and throw the best. The way I throw has caused slow damage now to my arm for 10 years. 

So to combat this I have to go to sports performance physical therapy right now which isn't the worst part because it is preventing having to get surgery which is good. 

For me, the hard thing right now is having to withstand from trying my best at practice because I need to limit my arm use. Coaches judge players based on their sports performance and so now that I'm lacking at practice it doesn't look the best.

However, my trainers and my parents share one thing in common and its the concern for my overall health and staying healthy for my future. So yes this is my internal conflict right now. Whether to value my health or try to stay in the baseball loop and continue performing to the level the coaches need me to. 

Have any of you ever felt this way towards something? Whether it be sports or school activities? The feeling of being torn and internally conflicted.